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The Narcissistic Sex Toy Guy

Tue, 12/11/2012 - 18:47

I've been on a lot of weird and awful dates, but there's one that stands out from the rest.

I had been matched up with a friend of a friend's friend. For some reason they thought we would be great together. I think the commonality we had was that we were both single and nothing more. I agreed to humor the friend of the friend and said he could call me. I did all the necessary preliminary Facebook stalking. He seemed alright, had a decent face, was in decent shape and had a decent education. No red flags yet. He texted me and it seemed like we hit it off. He was funny, smart and ambitious. I should have known something was up, because if he really was all of these things he would have been snatched up.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
friend fix up
Average: 3 (13 votes)

Cliche Things Women Put In Their Profiles

Thu, 07/22/2010 - 02:10

Here's a list of cliche things women put in their profiles.

Everybody likes music, art, traveling, the outdoors, sunshine and having fun. These are not things that give any insight as to who you are as an individual. I wouldn’t even really describe them as interests but more just standard features that come with any human being. It’d be like shopping for a used car and coming across an ad that says “Great vehicle, runs on gasoline, tires are round, has matter and density.” I still don’t know the make, model, year, mileage, accident history, horse power etc. If anything I view the vaugness as a trap into buying a lemon.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Plenty of Fish
Average: 3.3 (48 votes)

Too Much Drama In This Mama

Thu, 01/26/2012 - 17:47

I just rebounded from a 3 year relationship with a crappy Arab girl (don't date Arabs they suck balls) and joined OK Cupid. Immediately this lovely latina showed up and I knew she had a kid because she was upfront about it.

We dated a lot and it was mutually beneficial.. until, though she claimed she had birth control she clearly didn't because I got her knocked up. After 9 months went by we chose to give our baby girl up for adoption.

Stay away from single mothers and Latina single mothers especially!

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Ok Cupid
Average: 1.1 (7 votes)

He Has 15 Fake Plenty Of Fish Profiles!!!

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 14:22

After a bad bad break up I decided to join Plenty of Fish. Since I never got to say what I really felt to my ex I wrote him a few emails. Anyway.. I start chatting with this "nice" guy from POF (he didn't have a picture posted) and suddenly in our conversations he's eluding to things I wrote in my emails to my ex.

Since only my ex and I would know what was written in those emails I assumed it was my ex. This went on for two years with me anguishing over my ex surfing the net for other women and this guy eluding to "coming back"... writing things to me no one else would know but my ex. He even knew my home address and when I was home or not!!

Your alias: 
Ouch
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
Plenty of Fish
Average: 1.5 (2 votes)

Not So Impressive Drinking Abilities

Mon, 12/12/2011 - 15:37

I was on a first date with this chick I met on Plenty Of Fish. We were laughing and having a good time together. After a few drinks she started making fun of me, saying I was nursing my beer (i.e. a slow drinker).

Thinking it would impress her I downed the remaining three quarters of my pint. She was quite impressed, until about 30 seconds later when I suddenly barfed it up into her lap.

Your alias: 
anonymous
You: 
Male
Your Date: 
Female
Where you met: 
Plenty Of Fish
Average: 4.5 (4 votes)

Unnanounced Move In

Wed, 09/07/2011 - 09:14

A few weeks back I was awakened at 3:00 AM by somebody at my door. It turns out it was a guy I had only started dating a few weeks prior.

With suitcase in hand he tells me his wife kicked him out of the house for sleeping around and thinks this would be as good a time as any to move in together.

I didn't know he was married, and we hadn't slept together; awkward!

Your alias: 
Felicia
You: 
Female
Your Date: 
Male
Where you met: 
Zoosk
Average: 4.4 (5 votes)
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